[An intelligent, happy o reliable friend?]
Ok, first I think that the friendship more than a feeling or a relationship between two o more people, it’s to do “EVERYTHING” for the people that I love and I estimate. But when the people don’t appraise and appreciate that affection, then the things change because I’m a sensible person and hurts me and fills me of much rancor when that people is bad with me.
I think that all my friends “must “have many qualities, for example they must be intelligent because it’s important for me to have a topic interesting for doing a good conversation, that if they are my fiends I would like to have an aid of them when I’m in problems, for example, obviously that aid must be reciprocal: I help them when they need me.
Besides being a sensible girl, also I’m very happy; I like to go to parties, to drink beer, to dance, and I like to go out with my friends, therefore they must be like me. Obviously all my friends are not like me, some of them are completely different to me, but I love them and appreciate as they are; that’s for me another important thing in the friendship: to be able to understand the feelings and the thoughts of the others with respect and ripeness.
When I am in problems, in difficult and I want to look for a relief, always I look for my friends, also my family but in this case I think that they don’t understand me for example for the age or they think different to me; so I like that my friends listening to me without the necessity of judge me or tell my secrets thing to another person; the CONFIDENCE is another important thing in a friendship because is a demonstration of fidelity and sincerity with our friends.
The friendship is demonstrated preoccupation for our friends, when we are interested for their problems, comforts and their achievements. Therefore I endeavor to be always with them without looking the difficult. A friend is who is with us all the time and helps us when we are alone and depressed, remember: “In the danger, we know our true friends and the true friendship is for all the life”
Yura I really love your essay, I like it because you say the things like they are!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteFirst I think that is ok that you begin your paper introducing what you think about the friendship, it's so important, but I believe that the ideas are a little disorganized or maybe I can say these same words in another way. There are some mistakes of sentence structure, unnecessary words and punctuation.
I begin the essay describing me for example this part “Besides being a sensible girl, also I’m very happy….” when you explain how are you can be located at first.
You can use the verb instead of demonstrated.
I use help instead of aid
I like so much when you conclude the essay talking about the friendship again and with some sentences very important about that.
I think that the biggest problem is organization you have great ideas about the friendship but they’re in an incorrect way. Remember that an essay must have introduction, developing and conclusion. I believe that is necessary to complete the ideas in the paragraphs and summarize the main points in the conclusion.
Good job my dear yura…. Don’t forget that you’re a beautiful, intelligent and gorgeous person. I know that you can do a lot of things if you put it in your mind go ahead!!!!!….. I ♥ you too much!!! :D
Thank's mi NaTa, After to send the mail..I could see any mistakes, I think also that the are many good ideas but the problem is the organization ...Thank you very much for the recomendations♥♥♥♥
ReplyDelete